Saturday, February 2, 2013

Top 10 Bible Prophecy FAILS

1.Isaiah 17:1

“An oracle concerning Damascus: See, Damascus will no longer be a city but will become a heap of ruins.”

FAIL:  Damascus is generally considered the oldest continuously inhabited city in the world and it is still inhabited today with almost two million people.  Never in it’s history was never a time where it ceased to be a city.  How did the “Lord Almighty” miss that one? Two million people is not exactly a “Where’s Waldo”.

2.Isaiah 19:4-5 

“I will hand the Egyptians over to the power of a cruel master, and a fierce king will rule over them, declares the Lord, the LORD Almighty. The waters of the river will dry up, and the riverbed will be parched and dry.”

FAIL: The river mentioned here is the Nile which has never dried up in since historians began to keep records of such things (nor even in the oral record of times before).  How does an omniscient being miss one of the largest rivers in the world?  Once he realized it wasn’t going to dry up, couldn’t he just have willed it to happen just to keep his rep intact?  Guess me must have forgotten about this one.

3.  Isaiah 52:1

“Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem, the holy city. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again.”

FAIL: Um, there is currently no restriction on uncircumcised men entering the city. How would you even pass such a law, let alone enforce it?  It is hard enough getting people to accept the airport scanners without telling them they have to whip it out for an official “ant-eater” hunt too.

4.   Ezekiel 30:10-11

 ”This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will put an end to the hordes of Egypt by the hand of Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon. He and his army – the most ruthless of nations – will be brought in to destroy the land. They will draw their swords against Egypt and fill the land with the slain.”

FAIL: Ezekiel predicts that Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon will conquer Egypt filling it’s borders with the slain. In 568 BCE Nebuchadnezzar attempted to conquer Egypt without success. Egypt’s king ruled for another generation and outlived Nebuchadnezzar thereby escaping the fulfillment of this prophecy. The Egyptians were not scattered or dispersed or slain in droves across the lands.

5.   Ezekiel 29:10-11 

“therefore I am against you and against your streams,and I will make the land of Egypt a ruin and a desolate waste from Migdol to Aswan, as far as the border of Cush. The foot of neither man nor beast will pass through it; no one will live there for forty years.”

FAIL: Egypt has NEVER been uninhabited, let alone for forty years, in it’s history (since it’s inception). It is currently inhabited by almost 80 million people.

6   .Matthew 16:28Matthew 23:36Matthew 24:34 


“I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”


“I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation.”


“I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened.”

FAIL: Jesus says very clearly that the things that would demarcate the end of the world would be fulfilled before that era’s current generation passed away.  He said that  it would happen before the people that were standing in front of him “tasted death”. That was 2000 years ago.  Either he is a terrible prognosticator, or he is habitually late.  SO late in fact that people die and a hundred generations can pass before he remembers his promises. I think that being 2000 years late qualifies this one as FAILED.

7.   Isaiah 7:14 

“Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold,a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”

FAIL: It is Christian tradition to accept that Jesus was born to a virgin. This is a translation error but it merits being mentioned. The ”virgin” in this verse is a mistranslation of the Hebrew word “almah”, which means “young woman”.  A young woman is not necessarily a virgin. “Bethulah” would have been the correct word to use if the author meant virgin. Now on to the prophecy… nowhere in the New Testament is Jesus referred to as Immanuel.  Can’t the writers even fulfill prophecy that was in earlier chapters of their own book??  So either Jesus wasn’t that son, or he has a brother that hasn’t come yet whose name is Immanuel, or this one is total nonsense.  Either way, the prophecy is left unfulfilled.  I can’t get over how the bible’s editors let this one slip by.  JK Rowling would never stand for this.

8.   Matthew 2:23

 ”And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene.”

FAIL: Nowhere in the Old Testament is such a prophecy found, so how could such a one be fulfilled? Why talk about a divine prophecy that isn’t even found in the “inerrant” word of that divinity?

9.    Genesis 4:12

“When you cultivate the ground, it will no longer yield its strength to you; you will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth.”

FAIL: As a punishment for killing Abel, God says Cain will be “a fugitive and a vagabond.” Seems like a pretty light punishment for murder but looks like God can’t even hold this “prophecy” true. In a mere four verses later (4:16-17) Cain settles down, marries, has a son, and is the founder of his very own city. This is a pretty sweet deal for a fugitive and a vagabond.  I am pretty sure that there is not criminal on the face of the earth who wouldn’t accept THAT as punishment for their crime. I can see it now. “Oh yea God, you done me good!  I learned my lesson.  I wish that I could live in my own filth on the run from the law like all my other vagabond/fugitive friends instead of living with my family and having my own city.  This is BS! I truly regret my crimes *wink wink*”

10. 2 Samuel 7:16 

 ”Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.”

FAIL: God says that David’s kingdom will last forever. By forever he must have meant 400 years.  I mean, what would David know then?  He would be dead. So he allowed it to be destroyed about 400 years after Solomon’s death, never to be rebuilt.  So does forever=400 years?

If your answer is no (and grade 1 math reveals that “no” IS the answer) then we can see the inerrant bible revealed for what it is….

…..The writings of men, and completely fallible.

I just want to point out that I am not interested in debating other prophecies at this point.  If the bible is divine, it shouldn’t be this easy to pick 10 and debunk them almost effortlessly.

If this isn’t evidence against the divinity of the terrible book called the bible, I don’t know what is.


Top 10 Bible Prophecy FAILS

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